How to Shake the Butterflies!
First thing’s first, this isn’t your big day. Keep telling yourself that and you should feel better. The only bit that’s nerve-racking for you is the speech, which is later on – for now you must look after the groom.
Set the alarm!
Whatever you do, make sure he’s up! On my big day, the best man had to get me down to the local tool hire shop, organise a carpet shampooer, feed me a McDonalds and then clean our lounge carpet because I managed to barf all over it the night before. This wasn’t my finest moment, but we got away with it! Needless to say, he was an absolute legend and got me to the venue in plenty of time!
So, getting the groom ready:
- help with the suit and buttonhole,
- check the rings (don’t forget the rings!),
- have breakfast,
- make sure you both have your speeches,
- get him to the church,
- make sure he’s been to the toilet,
- calm and reassure him,
- get him a soother if needed (hip flask is useful),
- be prepared to go on errands if needed (all sorts of things can crop up on the big day!)
Stick with the main man. He’ll probably be nervous as hell by now so talk to him.
The actual service will go without a hitch – trust me. The celebrant, vicar, minister or whatever will guide you if you’ve forgotten anything, so hand over those rings (you did remember them didn’t you?) and soon the happy couple will be kissing as man and wife. It’s that easy! Woop!
Get outside when you can and help the photographer get the right people into the right places so the snaps can be taken. This can go on for a while but, for you, not long enough as the speeches are yet to come. Once everything is done here, you can head to the reception.
My advice, which isn’t much good to a teetotaler, is to have a couple of swift pints to calm your own nerves. Get one for the groom too. You want to be mellow, not wasted, or the speech is going tits up! I’ve witnessed such an event and, although funny for the crowd, not good for the families, happy couple or the best man. Take it steady!
Enjoy your meal. I’ve never had a problem with eating due to nerves, but some people struggle. Try and forget about it and enjoy the first few speeches. If there’s a couple of dodgy ones, all the better for you. Remember, the crowd will be fixated on you, and that actually makes it easier to get a laugh. You could almost get up and grunt and somebody will give a giggle.
If you really want them rolling on the floor laughing, email me NOW at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll write you a poem that’ll have them in stitches, and makes a great gift for the groom too!