The Best Man Rules.

Guys, pick a number, one or two.

  1. You’re the sort of fella that can just get up and chat away in front of a crowd of people like it’s a fun, everyday experience? It feels great, you’re confident, and you can nail these situations?
  2. Or does the thought of talking in front of large numbers make you physically sick? And you would rather be anywhere else right now?


As much as it’s nice to say, “Hey, I’m the first one, I was born to talk!”, most guys struggle with it because it’s bloody hard. Nothing to feel bad about here. It’s just hard.

And it doesn’t feel good to actually admit you’re number two. Of course it doesn’t. You want to be the guy that acts all blasé and gives the impression this happens everyday, as per, while knocking out an amazing speech that has everyone in stitches.

I have some bad, but mainly good, news.

Most of us, being honest, come in choosing the second option. It’s how our minds work. We were out the day before doing something we loved, having a beer, enjoying life. That’s our fun place. It’s safe. We want to keep doing this forever as long as it doesn’t get boring.

Just to think about getting up in front of everyone and facing embarrassment is not a safe place. It’s a downright horrible place. And it will haunt you all the way up to the wedding day.

But you’ve been tasked with this speech and, I’m telling you now, we’re going to get through it together. No, I won’t be stood alongside you, but I’ll give you the tools to deliver an awesome speech and also give you the confidence to realise you can do this, and nothing bad is going to happen!

The promise.

We are going to take the least confident public speaker out there, and arm them with their own material. Yes, everything I use comes from you. Your stories, your memories.

Scared? Don’t be. You’re better at this than you think.

All I’m going to do is take the funniest bits (and I read them first so I already have a pretty good idea), and turn them into something that will have your audience wanting to hear more and more. And when you get up there, barely able to talk, but start to realise that “Hang on, they love this!”, you’ll be wishing you could stand up there for an hour!

And it goes a little like this:

  1. You watch the other speeches; this makes you more nervous because they’re better than you expected.
  2. It’s your turn, your throat goes dry even though you just necked another drink.
  3. You fumble through a few thank you’s, it’s intense, you want to go to the bar, home or have a nice weekend in N. Korea. Anywhere would be better right now.
  4. You let the audience know you’re going to finish the speech with a poem (as far as they’re aware, you wrote it, do not tell them any different).
  5. Nice, slowly and clearly, start to read the poem from the paper you’ve printed out at home.
  6. As hard as it is, look around the audience while they’re laughing. You will have time between verses, and it will intensify your enjoyment when you see their reaction.
  7. Nail it home! They will be in stitches and you will be waiting for them to fall silent before you can continue with each verse. Enjoy this moment.


You will be coming up to the last verse and saying congratulations to the happy couple before you know it. Not only that, but you’ll wish you had more verses to read out because you feel bloody great right now!

Don’t hold back guys, get in touch, let’s get you the confidence to deal with a large audience and have everyone eating out the palm of your hand. In less than ten minutes you will have gone from downright scared, to being the bloke that can take on anything. And the funny thing is, it’s your audience that will take you to that place.

Email me now: for the best rates we’ve ever had.


The Right Words Make ALL The Difference!

And the wrong ones…

Ever said the wrong thing to someone, and then watched the listener’s face drop?

Sure they might try to hide it, but it’s usually quite obvious and the hurt is done. It doesn’t feel very nice for you, let alone them, and you can’t take it back. In the real world, sorry is about as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike.

No acknowledgement, or apologies will make them feel any better.

So your job is important!

You’re going to get up in front of a large group of friends and family that all want the bride to have the best day of her life. One wrong word and you have the potential to spoil someone’s whole day, and more… so a little care now could save everybody embarrassment, including you.

I was recently asked to include a verse in a poem about the bride’s flatulence (that is seriously the most polite way I’ve ever put it). Apparently it was great joke amongst friends and the bride herself played on it too, so the best man thought it would go down a storm. But I advised against it.

My thoughts were that it’s her wedding and not a night out, or a few drinks at home. And some of her family and friends might think it rude — yes it’s funny, but only in the right situation. Once those words are out, it’s on video, it’s everywhere! Does she want to be watching that forever more? Probably not.

He agreed with me and we kept all the funny stuff for the groom, because that’s who deserves the stick, in a nice way. Anything I mention about the lucky lady will be written in a way as to make her feel very special. And, trust me me when I say, you will come out of this speechmaking business looking like the legend you are if you follow that advice.

Are you struggling with your speech?

Well nearly everyone does, so it’s not something you need to worry about, especially when I can help you. A funny poem at the end of a short thank you speech will have the audience eating out of your hand. It’s an awesome feeling.

Email me today at and I guarantee a unique poem for you. No generic rubbish from the internet — it’s all based purely on the stories you give me. It’ll be funny, and will get you laughs and, if you’re nervous, will give you that added confidence to blow an audience away!

Don’t put it off, we’ll nail this together!


P.S. Short one today, and it’s been quite awhile between posts — hopefully that’s about to change. More soon…

Best Man’s Speeches Made Easy!

It’s a stressful time guys!

You get asked to be best man, but all you can think of is the sheer fear of standing up in front of a crowd of people and, ultimately, make them laugh. No pressure huh?

Well don’t worry, because help is at hand. I can give you the ammo to go in with confidence brimming, safe in the knowledge that no matter how your speech itself goes (if you’re doing one), you’re about to blow this audience away.

How? Read on…

My personal opinion goes a bit like this. Get up and introduce yourself first; it’s the worst part so breathe easy and just get on with it – ’cause it ain’t going away. Wait for them to give you a bit of peace and quiet before you start so that everyone can hear you. Repeat this to yourself several times before the big day so it’s ingrained in your subconscious. Repetition before the event is how you’re going to cope when the nerves take over, it’s very simple when you break it down. Going in thinking you can carry it without preparation is the surest way to cock it up.

Ok, it’s quiet and everyone is staring straight at you and all they want is to be entertained, no one wants to see you fail. Keep that in mind – they want you to succeed, they want you to be the best entertainment since seeing Peter Kay live. More pressure? No, any mistakes you make now (and you will unless you’re a natural public speaker, and even they do) won’t matter because you have the audiences’ complete support. Remember that, it’s very powerful so use it to your advantage.

What should I say first?

Introduce yourself. You might think you sound like a lemon, but a lot of the audience will never have met you and it’s up to you to tell them, “Hi, I’m Ben Vaughan, and I’m Jon’s best man.” That’s all you need (you might want to change the names to suit).

Try to avoid talking about how nervous you are, it’ll just make things worse for you and they don’t need to hear it. Look confident and put on some bravado, believe me they have no idea how nervous you are. The way you look, stand and speak may well convince all of them that you do this everyday. You’ve started talking, they are now in the palm of your hand. You are in control and it’s going to get better!

And secondly…

Ok, so thank the people that matter. The bridesmaids, the mothers, whoever else is on that list. This is where you’ll start to feel at ease because you’re moving attention to other people in the room. It’s not just you on display now and that always helps. You’re also making people feel good about themselves now, and that stands you in good stead with the audience. They love this, and they’ll love you.

If you’ve been asked to read out a few cards, or tell them all how far someone has travelled, get it done now. The more small talk you go through now, the more at ease you’ll feel. This stuff is a bit of a fill-in in my opinion, but if the happy couple have asked for it, it’s your job to deliver.

Without further ado, and with the thank you’s done… SPEECH!

Have your speech of some description on paper, or cards. Keep it simple headlines, or read the entire thing. This part is up to you and you need to go with what’s most comfortable. Just try to look around the audience as often as you look down at your speech. Keep them engaged. I struggle with this, but force myself to look around the room. Find a mate, or your girlfriend and give them eye contact frequently. You’ll keep your audience on their toes. But read it from a piece of paper, without looking up, and they’ll lose interest.

As for the content, well let’s just say I’ve been perusing YouTube for “worst best man’s speeches” and my advice is to keep it clean. Don’t bring up anything that makes marriage sound like the worst thing since public floggings (if you do, the mother-in-law is likely to take you outside for one).

This is one couple’s BIG day. A lot of time and money has gone into it and you don’t want to be the one remembered for spoiling it. Choose your funny stories about the groom, make him squirm a little but keep it clean enough for children, parents and grandparents. I do sometimes write poems that have rude material, but the obvious words are very often missing, leaving the people in the know to fill the gaps. It adds to the comedy.

How long do i have to be up here?

Five minutes? That’s not bad, especially if you’ve made them laugh and they want more. And this is where the poem comes in. Your speech can be boring, lacklustre and leave you looking like a tool in front of everyone (I was like this once), but finish with a funny, rhyming poem and you’re about to look like a superstar! I am completely serious.

You can get up there and grunt like a pig for five minutes, then read out a funny poem and your animal impressions will soon be forgotten. I’m not just making this stuff up, I’ve been the one in the firing line and it was pretty awful until I read the poem. Long, drawn out stories about the groom, no matter how funny they are to you, are absolute rubbish unless you’re a good story teller. A poem doesn’t have any room for fluff. It’s just headlines put together designed to make people laugh. What’s the first thing that catches your attention in a newspaper or an advert? It’s not the article, it’s the short sentence at the top leaving you wanting more.

Imagine lots of those headlines put together in a poem. Just enough material to make them laugh and keep them guessing. You don’t have to tell the whole story, all you need is enough to make them laugh. We have artistic licence, no one’s going to shout out and say “No, that’s not what happened”, and by the same token we don’t want to make up a load of rubbish.

If you give me all the material you’re prepared to use, I’ll turn it into a poem leaving you looking like the best best man they’ve ever seen. I’ve had best men write to me who, for whatever reason, hardly know the groom. They struggle with stories about him, know little of his interests and hobbies, but i work with them to find out all the little intricate parts of the relationship and put it together with some humour. Believe me, I’ve had some pretty sketchy information before now, but always managed to get a funny poem together.

Now, it’s up to you.

I haven’t added to the blog for sometime now, but I’m still here writing. I hope this post is informative and helps you whether you want a poem or no. And if you do, just write to me at thebestmanspoem. Thanks for reading.

Apologies, Alcohol and Expense!


I must apologise for the lack of posts, but more importantly, my lack of replies lately! It seems I’ve missed out on quite a few potential poems because I got sucked in with other projects. Damn! No excuses – I hate to let people down so all I can say is I hope all went well for the big day.

So, that brings me onto the next subject – Alcohol!

It’s what makes a great wedding! Pint after pint, Champagne’s a flowing, just the job to get that speech underway.

Hmm, while it does help to ease the nerves, too much and you run the risk of making a fool of yourself, the bride and groom!

And it’s not as easy to apologise to a room full of people as it was for me with this blog post. (Don’t forget, you might be having breakfast with the same crowd in the morning!)

But that’s enough of the preaching.

So you’ve lashed out loads on the stag do, drunk more beer than any living man has a right to, but are prepared to skimp on the thing that everyone remembers – the speech!

Yes, weddings are costly, but you might only get one chance to make it count. I can knock a cracking poem together, out of your favourite memories, for as little as ten bucks a verse! It’s something you and the groom can keep forever. He’s gonna love it, the bride’s gonna love it and, just as importantly, the family and friends are gonna love it. You’ll be the stand-out hero, and the feeling you get when everyone’s laughing along with you (and not at you) is one of the best in the world.

Get in touch today, and make it easy on yourself. It’s the perfect end to any speech.

So email me today at and let’s ease the burden of your big day!