The Right Words Make ALL The Difference!

And the wrong ones…

Ever said the wrong thing to someone, and then watched the listener’s face drop?

Sure they might try to hide it, but it’s usually quite obvious and the hurt is done. It doesn’t feel very nice for you, let alone them, and you can’t take it back. In the real world, sorry is about as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike.

No acknowledgement, or apologies will make them feel any better.

So your job is important!

You’re going to get up in front of a large group of friends and family that all want the bride to have the best day of her life. One wrong word and you have the potential to spoil someone’s whole day, and more… so a little care now could save everybody embarrassment, including you.

I was recently asked to include a verse in a poem about the bride’s flatulence (that is seriously the most polite way I’ve ever put it). Apparently it was great joke amongst friends and the bride herself played on it too, so the best man thought it would go down a storm. But I advised against it.

My thoughts were that it’s her wedding and not a night out, or a few drinks at home. And some of her family and friends might think it rude — yes it’s funny, but only in the right situation. Once those words are out, it’s on video, it’s everywhere! Does she want to be watching that forever more? Probably not.

He agreed with me and we kept all the funny stuff for the groom, because that’s who deserves the stick, in a nice way. Anything I mention about the lucky lady will be written in a way as to make her feel very special. And, trust me me when I say, you will come out of this speechmaking business looking like the legend you are if you follow that advice.

Are you struggling with your speech?

Well nearly everyone does, so it’s not something you need to worry about, especially when I can help you. A funny poem at the end of a short thank you speech will have the audience eating out of your hand. It’s an awesome feeling.

Email me today at thebestmanspoem@yahoo.com and I guarantee a unique poem for you. No generic rubbish from the internet — it’s all based purely on the stories you give me. It’ll be funny, and will get you laughs and, if you’re nervous, will give you that added confidence to blow an audience away!

Don’t put it off, we’ll nail this together!

 

P.S. Short one today, and it’s been quite awhile between posts — hopefully that’s about to change. More soon…

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KISS – Keep It Simple Stupid.

No, It’s not an insult.

But I do need your help when it comes to preparing a poem. When I write a best man’s poem I want everyone to be happy – that means you, me, but mainly the entire wedding party. We want laughs right?

Preparation.

I don’t write generic tosh that you can find online, or in books. Everything I write is unique to you and the groom because you’re giving me the information, which is why I need as much info from you as possible. I’m not happy with my poems if I’m having to fill verses up with rubbish because of a lack of description, but it’s even worse for you because you’re going to read it to a, potentially, large audience. So give me as much as you can.

I received an email the other day that had no body text whatsoever. The title basically said “I need a poem, my name is John and the groom’s name is Bill”. I did actually reply, stating what I needed to write one, but heard no more which, in hindsight, was probably a good thing. Believe me, I try to keep it as basic as possible, but there’s a few things I need to know about to write a good poem.

You want a good poem right? You do want to sound like the best, best man in the business?

So, detail is good; but likewise, please don’t expect a two-page essay to be condensed into a four-line verse. I will get it in there, but it will only contain the basics needed to be funny, punchy and, above all, entertaining. And I’m in a pretty good position to work that out because I’ve never met the groom, and don’t know his background. If I read your stories and start laughing, which I do frequently, I will pick out all the parts that matter so that members of the audience who haven’t heard the stories before can have a laugh too. If you want to mention half the family, the pets and what they had for breakfast yesterday, do it in the main speech, otherwise your poem will suffer. I want you to come out of this experience saying that was a wonderful experience, that everyone was laughing because of you, not at you.

We’ve all heard someone drone on and on in a speech, and by the time you get to the punchline you just want to kill yourself. Hell, I’ve probably even done a couple like that myself! And that’s why this service is so popular. I’m not saying I’m the best poet since Keats, but people like what I write and these poems seem to work well. So let’s have a look at what I need from you to get a good poem:

  1. The bride and groom’s name. Yes, surprisingly I need this. I try to talk about them both, get a congratulations in there somewhere and keep the poem personable. It’s important.
  2. How long you’ve known the groom. I’ll start off by saying how you met, how long ago and give a little history. A lot of the audience might not even know who you are. Let them get to know you, warm to you and they’ll love your speech.
  3. His hobbies/interests/habits. With any luck he collects film star’s toenails, has a comb-over, or plays golf in ridiculous clothes. Whatever, I’ll try to incorporate it and make everyone laugh. Give me as much as possible, it makes it easier.
  4. Funny stories. There has to be one… surely? The slightest thing might get a laugh if written correctly. If you can’t talk about the full story, let me hint at it and watch him squirm.
  5. How he met the bride. The most important person in that room is the bride. It’s her big day and she wants to feel special. A lot of time and money has gone into this day so don’t ruin it. The groom will take the knocks and jokes at his expense, but the bride won’t want things to go over the top, and there will be people filming so keep it nice. You will come across far better if the bride is happy (the groom will be happier too).
  6. As a couple. What do they do? What plans do they have? If there’s something good, I’ll try and get it across. Keep it basic – it’s not as important as the other points but useful if you’re struggling for funny stories.
  7. What about you? Is there something that’s especially important to you? Again, basic is better, but it’s your speech so write it down and let me know.

And that should do it.

It’s food for thought and should allow you to better prepare. I know there’s a lot of guys that can’t stand to write anything down, but you only have one chance to deliver your poem. Get this bit right and you will nail your speech!

This Best Man’s Poem Could Be Yours!

Extracts from a Poem for Best Man Jon.

***

For sixteen years we’ve been the best of mates,

And it was down to me to help Tim with dates,

But not one word of thanks, did I get from him,

When I ducked first, and he took one on the chin!

***

But that was us, just out to have fun,

In pubs, on bikes, out for a run,

Our destiny was set and we knew as much,

Because I had the gab, and he had the touch.

***

Then he met Kate, and everything changed,

His love for her could shine through rain,

He deserved to be happy, cos he’s such a good bloke,

So well done Tim, from me and your folks.

***

Anyone can see, these two are in love,

And getting them together took a wee shove,

But pulling them apart, would take a hell of a lot more,

Because this is true love, and of that I’m sure.

***

Ladies and Gentlemen, would you stand with me,

There’s no other place that I’d rather be,

Lift up your glasses, enjoy this great day,

The sooner I’m finished, the sooner I’m paid.

***

Just a few of the nine verses from the original poem.

If you want to make your audience laugh with a unique, humourous poem based on your memories, write to me at thebestmanspoem@yahoo.com today.

Look forward to hearing from you, Ben.

Help! I’m the Best Man. What do I do?

  • Need an example of a poem?

  • Wondering what to expect?

  • These are extracts of a poem I wrote for Sean in Ireland.

Poem #1

I first met Pete in Dublin,

But his tightness was rather troubling,

Pete couldn’t be found, when it was time for his round,

As he hid under a table a-chuckling.

***

We became solid mates in no time,

Got thrown out of pubs when the bell chimed,

In the event of a fight, he stayed out of sight,

Just typical of someone who drinks white wine.

***

Pete’s parents are so cool I could shout,

They welcomed me in with no doubts,

But I tell you my dears, it’s best to stay clear,

When Pete’s dad’s been on those old sprouts.

***

Of course, I should mention Pete’s wife,

Cos she’s got to put up with the strife,

Pete’s habits are worse, than an old witches’ curse,

Kate, we all think you deserve a big prize!

***

So stand up and toast these two folks,

I’ll soon need a drink or I’ll choke,

“To the bride and the groom, they’re over the moon”,

Pete, buy me a drink cos I’m broke!

 ***

Want your audience to be in stitches?

Email me now at thebestmanspoem@yahoo.com