Writing for a mate’s 40th.

I get asked for samples every now and again, and enquiries about how the finished poem might sound. All perfectly understandable, and questions like these are common:

  • How long is each verse?
  • Will it be funny?
  • Will it rhyme?
  • Will it be clean?
  • Can it be sentimental?

And because I can’t really share the poems I’ve written specifically for my clients, I’ve had to make up odd verses and put those on my blog. Well now, at last, I have a legitimate poem that you can listen to for yourself… unfortunately, you’ll have to put up with me delivering it.

One of my oldest friends in the UK has just turned 40. A good mate of his got in touch and asked if I’d write something to be played as a surprise at the restaurant they were celebrating in. I loved the idea, and this is what I came up with.  Enjoy!

 

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Steven Hesketh Photography

For those about to get married…

Anyone who’s been there will understand the massive amount of work needed to bring everything together perfectly for that one big day. The church, the rehearsals, the cake, the guests, the speeches… it goes on and on.

But even when the day couldn’t have gone any better, and has been a complete success, you need one more person to finish it off — the one in the background holding the camera.

We all enjoy looking through photos to relive the big day, so make sure you choose someone with the experience and understanding to get it right.

Because you only get one shot at this…

 

Based in Monmouth, South Wales, Steve is one of those guys that wants it just right. He listens to you first and then offers his ideas, instead of ploughing on through like it’s his wedding. And when it comes to one of the biggest days of your life, you need to feel like you’re in control while you’re being looked after.

Distance isn’t an issue and, as well as working all round the UK, Steve has also covered parts of Europe too. It speaks volumes.

 

Why not ring him for a chat?

There’s no obligation and you’ll probably even get some ideas for your wedding at the same time.

(After doing it for over twenty years, he’s bound to give something away!)

But don’t take my word for it, check out his website here and you’ll soon get an idea of how he captures those special moments.

Amaze Yourself With These 10 Best Man Speech Tips!

Thought this might be of some use to any budding best man.

the best man's poem

So far in my life, I’ve been asked to be the best man twice!  I’m either doing something very wrong, or right. Yes it’s worrying, but here’s ten top tips that might help:

  1. Be prepared before the day. Write down anything and everything you want to say on paper, or small cards, and keep it on you at all times. Add to it whenever you remember something new, funny or appropriate.
  2. Practise your speech whenever you can, but always make sure you have the paper or cards with you on the day (don’t rely on memory — it may go blank).
  3. Your job is to thank bridesmaids, flower girls, or anyone else nominated by the happy couple. Do that first and get it out of the way, it’ll help to relax you.
  4. Have a drink, but keep it moderate. You don’t want to be drunk, just merry and relaxed. And always have…

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HELP! I’m Petrified About My Best Man’s Speech!

So the news has sunk in. You’re the best man, but all you can think about is the speech and how you’re going to get through it. You hate talking in public, you’re nervous and would gladly take a fall to get out of this awful duty.

Sounds bad, but probably true.

Apparently, 63% of best men say that the speech had a major impact on their enjoyment of the wedding. And they’d probably rather the ground swallow them up, than stand up and try to be funny. And that’s the thing, it’s not just the standing up and thanking people, it’s the fact that everyone at the wedding is expecting to be entertained by a professional comedian. Quick, where’s the toilet?

But… what if I could give you the ammunition to go out there and blow everyone away?

What if you had the confidence to actually enjoy this evil task?

Believe me, when you have the whole place laughing, and dying to hear more, you’ll wish you could stand up there all night long. It’s better than a drug, and you’ll be addicted.

So what do I do?

It’s simple, email me at thebestmanspoem or message me on my Facebook page, and I will get the relevant details to make a start.

You’ll get a poem you can just read out from a piece of A4 — how easy would that be?

It’ll be funny, it’ll be heartfelt and, best of all, it won’t offend anyone that matters. And trust me, that matters.

Is it really that easy?

The hardest part for anyone will be the initial standing up. Just get up and give a brief introduction, thank the various bridesmaids, the mothers, the good folks who’ve travelled halfway round the world etc. and then just tell the audience you’re going to read out a poem. If you’re nervous during the initial introduction that’s great because the audience will warm to you. They want you to do well and, if you look scared, all they’ll want to do is help you. This is win-win.

You will have practised the poem a few times at home so you know just where to pause, and how to deliver it correctly (this is far easier than it sounds). Just speak clearly, and loud enough for everyone to hear, and knock ’em bandy!

I guarantee by the end of the first first verse they’ll be laughing, and you will love every minute of it.

So guys, get in touch. It’s one of those occasions you only get one shot at, so make it count!

 

Get on YouTube for the right reasons!

You can’t get away from video anymore. There’s always someone with an iPhone ready to upload. Which is why you don’t want to go into a speech unprepared.

Cock it up, take the piss out of the wrong people, or just get completely drunk and you’re guaranteed to have everybody laughing at you time and time again!

But… reel off a witty, well-written poem and you might have people saying you are the man. The best man! And that could be nice.

So here’s an idea.

Write down a few things you’d like to say about the groom, thank the mothers, the bridesmaids and just keep it nice. Then launch into a funny poem that does it’s best to make the groom not only squirm, but actually enjoy it, so everyone’s happy. Doesn’t that sound better?

If that’s a bit of you, get in touch. It’s only ten bucks a verse, that’s all, and you’ll come out of this looking like the best, best man ever.

Email me now at thebestmanspoem – you’ll be so glad you did.

 

If you’re wondering what will make your poem work, here’s the basics I need:

  • The bride and groom’s name. Yes, surprisingly I need this. I try to talk about them both, get a congratulations in there somewhere and keep the poem personable. It’s important.
  • How long you’ve known the groom. I’ll start off by saying how you met, how long ago and give a little history. A lot of the audience might not even know who you are. Let them get to know you, warm to you and they’ll love your speech.
  • His hobbies/interests/habits. With any luck he collects film star’s toenails, has a comb-over, or plays golf in ridiculous clothes. Whatever, I’ll try to incorporate it and make everyone laugh. Give me as much as possible, it makes it easier.
  • Funny stories. There has to be one… surely? The slightest thing might get a laugh if written correctly. If you can’t talk about the full story, let me hint at it and watch him squirm.
  • How he met the bride. The most important person in that room is the bride. It’s her big day and she wants to feel special. A lot of time and money has gone into this day so don’t ruin it. The groom will take the knocks and jokes at his expense, but the bride won’t want things to go over the top, and there will be people filming so keep it nice. You will come across far better if the bride is happy (the groom will be happier too).
  • As a couple. What do they do? What plans do they have? If there’s something good, I’ll try and get it across. Keep it basic – it’s not as important as the other points but useful if you’re struggling for funny stories.
  • What about you? Is there something that’s especially important to you? Again, basic is better, but it’s your speech so write it down and let me know.

Email me now at thebestmanspoem – be the best best man!

 

KISS – Keep It Simple Stupid.

No, It’s not an insult.

But I do need your help when it comes to preparing a poem. When I write a best man’s poem I want everyone to be happy – that means you, me, but mainly the entire wedding party. We want laughs right?

Preparation.

I don’t write generic tosh that you can find online, or in books. Everything I write is unique to you and the groom because you’re giving me the information, which is why I need as much info from you as possible. I’m not happy with my poems if I’m having to fill verses up with rubbish because of a lack of description, but it’s even worse for you because you’re going to read it to a, potentially, large audience. So give me as much as you can.

I received an email the other day that had no body text whatsoever. The title basically said “I need a poem, my name is John and the groom’s name is Bill”. I did actually reply, stating what I needed to write one, but heard no more which, in hindsight, was probably a good thing. Believe me, I try to keep it as basic as possible, but there’s a few things I need to know about to write a good poem.

You want a good poem right? You do want to sound like the best, best man in the business?

So, detail is good; but likewise, please don’t expect a two-page essay to be condensed into a four-line verse. I will get it in there, but it will only contain the basics needed to be funny, punchy and, above all, entertaining. And I’m in a pretty good position to work that out because I’ve never met the groom, and don’t know his background. If I read your stories and start laughing, which I do frequently, I will pick out all the parts that matter so that members of the audience who haven’t heard the stories before can have a laugh too. If you want to mention half the family, the pets and what they had for breakfast yesterday, do it in the main speech, otherwise your poem will suffer. I want you to come out of this experience saying that was a wonderful experience, that everyone was laughing because of you, not at you.

We’ve all heard someone drone on and on in a speech, and by the time you get to the punchline you just want to kill yourself. Hell, I’ve probably even done a couple like that myself! And that’s why this service is so popular. I’m not saying I’m the best poet since Keats, but people like what I write and these poems seem to work well. So let’s have a look at what I need from you to get a good poem:

  1. The bride and groom’s name. Yes, surprisingly I need this. I try to talk about them both, get a congratulations in there somewhere and keep the poem personable. It’s important.
  2. How long you’ve known the groom. I’ll start off by saying how you met, how long ago and give a little history. A lot of the audience might not even know who you are. Let them get to know you, warm to you and they’ll love your speech.
  3. His hobbies/interests/habits. With any luck he collects film star’s toenails, has a comb-over, or plays golf in ridiculous clothes. Whatever, I’ll try to incorporate it and make everyone laugh. Give me as much as possible, it makes it easier.
  4. Funny stories. There has to be one… surely? The slightest thing might get a laugh if written correctly. If you can’t talk about the full story, let me hint at it and watch him squirm.
  5. How he met the bride. The most important person in that room is the bride. It’s her big day and she wants to feel special. A lot of time and money has gone into this day so don’t ruin it. The groom will take the knocks and jokes at his expense, but the bride won’t want things to go over the top, and there will be people filming so keep it nice. You will come across far better if the bride is happy (the groom will be happier too).
  6. As a couple. What do they do? What plans do they have? If there’s something good, I’ll try and get it across. Keep it basic – it’s not as important as the other points but useful if you’re struggling for funny stories.
  7. What about you? Is there something that’s especially important to you? Again, basic is better, but it’s your speech so write it down and let me know.

And that should do it.

It’s food for thought and should allow you to better prepare. I know there’s a lot of guys that can’t stand to write anything down, but you only have one chance to deliver your poem. Get this bit right and you will nail your speech!

An Example of a Sample… Poem

As can be expected, a lot of guys want to know exactly what their best man’s poem will look like. Are the verses all four lines long, will it rhyme, and will the bridesmaids fall head-over-heels in love with me when I read it out?

Yes, yes, and maybe…

So I thought I’d better add another sample of a poem I wrote, just to give you a heads-up. Every poem is unique, written from the information you give me. If I don’t have enough, I’ll quiz you some more until we get it right. When it’s done you will have the added confidence to nail your speech. It doesn’t matter how the first bit goes, once you get into the poem and the guests are all laughing, you’re going to be the hero.

Take a look at this and you’ll get an idea on how it will look, and if you do have best man’s duties to perform, just write to me at thebestmanspoem today.

 

It took quite a while, to warm to this chap,

His clothes were a mess, and his hairstyle crap.

But that’s just the way, with people like Pete,

And now I don’t notice, his big smelly feet!

For a midweek drink, we’d often indulge,

And go cycling next day, to work off the bulge.

By the weekend we’d need, a beer fix again,

The week soon forgotten, once we’d drunk ten!

In the years since we met, he’s done funny things,

And he brightens up work, ‘cause he always sings.

When a job goes tits-up, or the workshop’s aflame,

I guarantee now, old Pete gets the blame!

He can get quite flustered, when a customer moans,

And he won’t let it go, like a dog with a bone.

His face goes bright red, and his veins start to pop,

And it’s wise to move on, before you get dropped!

Thanks for reading, and I look forward to hearing from you…