Why Your Best Man’s Speech Is Going To Fail – And How To Prevent It.

I’ve got you covered.

Even the most nervous best man dreams about making an awesome speech.

Holding the entire audience transfixed as he reels off yet another funny story about the groom. He’s loving the crowd and they’re loving him back. It’s glorious.


Then it all goes wrong. Even though you’ve consumed pint after pint of Dutch courage, the nerves are more intense than ever. Words aren’t coming out the way you planned, you can’t read your cards properly, you’re intimidated by a heckler and you want the ground to swallow you up.

I’ve got news for you.

Even the most established comedian has been here. Completely frozen by nerves, and you want to know how they beat it?

The 5 P’s

Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance

Think about what you really want to say and who would want to hear it. In other words, think about your audience every time you think up a new story about the groom.

  • Are they going to like it?
  • Will they understand it?
  • Would anyone be offended?
  • Are children going to be present?

It isn’t rocket science, his family, and certainly the bride’s family, probably don’t want to hear about previous sexual encounters no matter how funny they are to you and your friends (this is obviously dependant on the wedding – give it some thought). Alcohol won’t carry you through an offensive speech and make it funny. Work harder at the planning – there are always outstanding stories, whoever the groom is, so you shouldn’t have to resort to offensive material.

If your speech is full of offensive stories, and the first one has just gone down like a lead balloon, what are you going to do when you’re stood up there in front of everybody? It’s not a good situation.

Keep swearing to a minimum. In fact, try and eliminate it altogether. The older generation, and certainly young children, shouldn’t have to put up with it just because it’s funny to you and your friends. An audience moaning, or talking in disgust, about your speech after the event isn’t a nice feeling, even worse if it’s been filmed – you can’t stay drunk forever :).

Try the Mum test.

This is how I look at it. If I considered it ok to tell my mother/grandmother, then it’s probably ok.

Try it for yourself, would you be happy if somebody told your nearest and dearest the story, or jokes, you want to tell?

So that’s the material sorted.

Now you need to practice it. Visualise the audience as if you’re reciting the best speech ever written, and they’re lapping it up. They want more because you’re so funny; that’s the goal. Comedians, presenters, public speakers all go through this.

And it makes it all possible.

Once it’s practiced, and clear in your mind, your confidence will grow and this can help when nerves set in on the day. It’s surprising how the brain can take over subconciously when you’re up against it, but you must practice.

Of course, a poem containing all your memories, listing the greatest parts of your friendship and written to appeal to any wedding party could be the answer, saving you time and shredding the nerves.

If that sounds like somthing you’d be interested in, email thebestmanspoem@yahoo.com today.


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