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Archive for the ‘Sample poem’ Category

These Guys Were SO Happy!

I always ask for a little feedback on how the poems went because, well I just want to know they did the job, that you got the laugh you all wanted. And the confidence, let’s not forget the confidence.

That’s what it’s all about, going in prepared. That audience wants you to do well – they want to be entertained. There’s not that many heartless bastards out there that actually want to see someone fail, trust me. For five minutes you’re going to have them eating out of the palm of your hand, and wanting more.

Yesterday I heard back from Eric who’d been petrified about his speech, I mentioned him in a previous post. I wrote a ten verse poem with plenty of humour, but also enough to show that he really cared about his mate. He loved the poem and said that he felt much more confident going in. This is what I received:

Ben.  Thanks a million. I can’t believe how good this came out. I had people that I didn’t know. Come to me and say.  Dude. Can you do the speech at my wedding!!!   It was awesome. It went off better than I ever thought it would. I had no reason to be nervous what so ever.  This was unbelievable. It gave me more confidence than I ever thought I had.   I can’t thank you enough.  It’s worth every penny. Your the man Ben. 
That blew me away!
And from another happy best man:
Ben
That is absolutely cracking mate. Thanks very much for your help, I’ll certainly be recommending your work to others.
I will obviously pass the poem off as my own work!
Thank you very much guys! It’s a pleasure to help out.
Remember, if you want an audience crying with laughter at your speech, get in touch at thebestmanspoem@yahoo.com today!

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Finding it easy.

I watched a mate of mine do a speech at his sister’s wedding. The groom didn’t have too many close friends so they asked Steve to be the best man. No worries, so we arrive at reception and Steve sits down with a pint and starts writing down notes – he didn’t even have a speech prepared!

We all sat down, ate food and, as you do, looked forward to the the speeches. He blew everyone away. So natural and confident he sounded like he was loving it, and could’ve stayed there all day. He got away with last-minute prep.

But I can’t do that.

My mind goes blank when I’m staring at a huge group of people, and I want to be anywhere but there. Once up and running, with notes to back me up, I love it, but until then my confidence plummets.

A poem I just wrote is for a guy who said in his initial email “standing in front of a crowd makes me feel physically sick, like I’m gonna pass out”. The groom knows this (and is loving every minute of it), but I think we may have just given the best man the confidence to get up there and blow the whole audience away. I can’t wait to hear how it goes.

Want my advice?

Write down notes, write a speech, and above all, write a funny poem. When you have a captive audience, a well-structured piece of writing, like a poem, will have them wanting more and more. When you’re reading funny, rhyming content, you can’t deviate, you can’t get boring, you can’t forget what you were saying, but you can have them eating from your hand.

When you’re having to wait for the laughter to subside before you can read the next verse, you’re going to wish you could go on forever!

P.S. By the way, the poem I just sent got me the following reply Dude I am dying. That’s the best!!!! This makes me feel confident. I love it”. Happy days!

If you think that could benefit you, email me at thebestmanspoem@yahoo.com and let’s get started.

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Firstly,

I must apologise for the lack of posts, but more importantly, my lack of replies lately! It seems I’ve missed out on quite a few potential poems because I got sucked in with other projects. Damn! No excuses – I hate to let people down so all I can say is I hope all went well for the big day.

So, that brings me onto the next subject – Alcohol!

It’s what makes a great wedding! Pint after pint, Champagne’s a flowing, just the job to get that speech underway.

Hmm, while it does help to ease the nerves, too much and you run the risk of making a fool of yourself, the bride and groom!

And it’s not as easy to apologise to a room full of people as it was for me with this blog post. (Don’t forget, you might be having breakfast with the same crowd in the morning!)

But that’s enough of the preaching.

So you’ve lashed out loads on the stag do, drunk more beer than any living man has a right to, but are prepared to skimp on the thing that everyone remembers – the speech!

Yes, weddings are costly, but you might only get one chance to make it count. I can knock a cracking poem together, out of your favourite memories, for as little as ten bucks a verse! It’s something you and the groom can keep forever. He’s gonna love it, the bride’s gonna love it and, just as importantly, the family and friends are gonna love it. You’ll be the stand-out hero, and the feeling you get when everyone’s laughing along with you (and not at you) is one of the best in the world.

Get in touch today, and make it easy on yourself. It’s the perfect end to any speech.

So email me today at thebestmanspoem@yahoo.com and let’s ease the burden of your big day!

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Extracts from a Poem for Best Man Jon.

***

For sixteen years we’ve been the best of mates,

And it was down to me to help Tim with dates,

But not one word of thanks, did I get from him,

When I ducked first, and he took one on the chin!

***

But that was us, just out to have fun,

In pubs, on bikes, out for a run,

Our destiny was set and we knew as much,

Because I had the gab, and he had the touch.

***

Then he met Kate, and everything changed,

His love for her could shine through rain,

He deserved to be happy, cos he’s such a good bloke,

So well done Tim, from me and your folks.

***

Anyone can see, these two are in love,

And getting them together took a wee shove,

But pulling them apart, would take a hell of a lot more,

Because this is true love, and of that I’m sure.

***

Ladies and Gentlemen, would you stand with me,

There’s no other place that I’d rather be,

Lift up your glasses, enjoy this great day,

The sooner I’m finished, the sooner I’m paid.

***

Just a few of the nine verses from the original poem.

If you want to make your audience laugh with a unique, humourous poem based on your memories, write to me at thebestmanspoem@yahoo.com today.

Look forward to hearing from you, Ben.

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How to Shake the Butterflies!

First thing’s first, this isn’t your big day. Keep telling yourself that and you should feel better. The only bit that’s nerve-racking for you is the speech, which is later on – for now you must look after the groom.

Set the alarm!

Whatever you do, make sure he’s up! On my big day, the best man had to get me down to the local tool hire shop, organise a carpet shampooer, feed me a McDonalds and then clean our lounge carpet because I managed to barf all over it the night before. This wasn’t my finest moment, but we got away with it! Needless to say, he was an absolute legend and got me to the venue in plenty of time!

So, getting the groom ready:

  • help with the suit and buttonhole,
  • check the rings (don’t forget the rings!),
  • have breakfast,
  • make sure you both have your speeches,
  • get him to the church,
  • make sure he’s been to the toilet,
  • calm and reassure him,
  • get him a soother if needed (hip flask is useful),
  • be prepared to go on errands if needed (all sorts of things can crop up on the big day!)

Ceremony

Stick with the main man. He’ll probably be nervous as hell by now so talk to him.

The actual service will go without a hitch – trust me. The celebrant, vicar, minister or whatever will guide you if you’ve forgotten anything, so hand over those rings (you did remember them didn’t you?) and soon the happy couple will be kissing as man and wife. It’s that easy! Woop!

The Photographer

Get outside when you can and help the photographer get the right people into the right places so the snaps can be taken. This can go on for a while but, for you, not long enough as the speeches are yet to come. Once everything is done here, you can head to the reception.

BEER!

My advice, which isn’t much good to a teetotaler, is to have a couple of swift pints to calm your own nerves. Get one for the groom too. You want to be mellow, not wasted, or the speech is going tits up! I’ve witnessed such an event and, although funny for the crowd, not good for the families, happy couple or the best man. Take it steady!

Enjoy your meal. I’ve never had a problem with eating due to nerves, but some people struggle. Try and forget about it and enjoy the first few speeches. If there’s a couple of dodgy ones, all the better for you. Remember, the crowd will be fixated on you, and that actually makes it easier to get a laugh. You could almost get up and grunt and somebody will give a giggle.

If you really want them rolling on the floor laughing, email me NOW at thebestmanspoem@yahoo.com and I’ll write you a poem that’ll have them in stitches, and makes a great gift for the groom too!

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The Honour is all Yours!

That’s the one thing you need to remember from the start.

It might be scary, it might be a nuisance, it might even be a pain in the ass, but your best mate, or your brother, or your dad – whoever it is – wants you to be the main man for him on the day.

So what exactly are the best man’s duties before the big day?

The Stag Night.

The groom can be a bit wary on this subject, with good reason, so you might have to work with him a little here.

Some will want full control – I’ve had that and it’s annoying (I pretty well left one of them to organise it himself in the end because he was getting too involved, but that’s the exception to the rule). Work out a venue for a good weekend or night away, find out which mates of his are going and get in touch with them all. Most will want to help out anyway so it probably won’t be a one-man effort. Try and make sure everyone is capable of doing any physical activities you have lined up, and get the readies upfront, because it can be hard getting money at the end of an expensive weekend – this I also know. Now get plenty of beer and enjoy!

The Rehearsal

Yeah, we all have to go through this too. Keep your gob shut and help out where necessary. Remember where you have to stand, when to sit down, when to hand over the ring (don’t ever forget that ring!) and, above all, be there for the main man at all times. It’ll be over before you know it.

Unless asked, I’d be inclined to steer clear of any organising of honeymoons, transportation to the wedding etc. because most couples will have this in the bag. I don’t personally believe you should get involved with that aspect, but I have heard of occasions where it’s a given that you’ll be sorting it. Play it by ear, but this is something the happy couple should’ve cleared up ages ago.

Speech Speech Speech…

My advice is to start working on this the day you’re asked to be best man. I always put it off, and have even been fixing it up on the morning of the wedding, but give yourself a fighting chance and start writing stuff down – NOW!

I work better under pressure, but that’s not the same for everyone. If you’re struggling, jot some ideas down on paper and send them to me.

I’ll rework them into a poem that’s guaranteed to make the audience laugh, make you look and feel GREAT and makes a fantastic gift for the groom too!

Email me at thebestmanspoem@yahoo.com today, and take the hard work out of being the best man!

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  • Need an example of a poem?

  • Wondering what to expect?

  • These are extracts of a poem I wrote for Sean in Ireland.

Poem #1

I first met Pete in Dublin,

But his tightness was rather troubling,

Pete couldn’t be found, when it was time for his round,

As he hid under a table a-chuckling.

***

We became solid mates in no time,

Got thrown out of pubs when the bell chimed,

In the event of a fight, he stayed out of sight,

Just typical of someone who drinks white wine.

***

Pete’s parents are so cool I could shout,

They welcomed me in with no doubts,

But I tell you my dears, it’s best to stay clear,

When Pete’s dad’s been on those old sprouts.

***

Of course, I should mention Pete’s wife,

Cos she’s got to put up with the strife,

Pete’s habits are worse, than an old witches’ curse,

Kate, we all think you deserve a big prize!

***

So stand up and toast these two folks,

I’ll soon need a drink or I’ll choke,

“To the bride and the groom, they’re over the moon”,

Pete, buy me a drink cos I’m broke!

 ***

Want your audience to be in stitches?

Email me now at thebestmanspoem@yahoo.com

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